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About 16% of men are able to ejaculate but feel none of the pleasure of orgasm.

For nearly a fifth of men, sex is just terrible.

About 16% of men are able to ejaculate but feel none of the pleasure of orgasm, according to research presented at the European Society for Sexual Medicine.

In fact, when it comes to sexual dysfunction, it's not the erection or the ejaculation that's the problem for many men -- it's feeling anything at all.

So are these men, well, faking their orgasms?

"When I asked the test subjects in plain language, ‘Did you feel orgasm [after ejaculating after sex with a woman], 16 % of men in our group said they didn't have sensation of orgasm," said Dr. Darius Paduch, assistant professor of urology and reproductive medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College. "This is astonishing."

Problems with sexual pleasure don't just affect older men. Paduch said that he sees men as young as their 20s.

It isn't easy for men to admit to their partner that they can't enjoy sex.

"Our society is more sympathetic for women facing sexual problems, but men are still faced with self-doubt, fear of being labeled as impotent, inadequate and just not a full man," said Paduch. "You need to remember that regardless if a man is a bricklayer or a president, men value themselves through their sexual performance."
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Grandpa Simpson might be a grumpy old man but he still appreciates the charms of a woman.


The very oldest men are still interested in sex but illness and a lack of opportunity may be holding them back, Australian researchers reported on Monday.

The "male" hormone testosterone was clearly linked with how often a man over 75 had sex, and doctors need to do more studies to see if hormone replacement therapy might benefit older men, the researchers said.

Zoe Hyde of the University of Western Australia and colleagues surveyed more than 2,700 men aged 75 to 95 for their study, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine.

They asked a range of questions about health, relationships and sexual activity.

"The older men were, the less likely they were to be sexually active, but sex remained at least somewhat important to one fifth of men aged 90 to 95 years, refuting the stereotype of the asexual older person," they wrote in their report.

"Of those who were sexually active, more than 40 percent were dissatisfied with the frequency of sexual activity, preferring sex more frequently."

More than 30 percent of the men reported some sort of sexual activity in the past year, but more than 48 percent said sex was important, suggesting many of the men wanted to have sex but could not.

Age was a factor but so were testosterone levels, the lack of an interested partner, and various diseases from diabetes to prostate cancer.

More than 40 percent of the men who had not had sex recently said they were not interested.

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A study in Chinese factory workers showed exposure to BPA was linked to poor sexual health.

Chinese factory workers exposed to high levels of the plastics chemical BPA had low sperm counts, according to the first human study to tie it to poor semen quality.

The study is the latest to raise health questions about bisphenol-A and comes two weeks after Canada published a final order adding the chemical to its list of toxic substances.

Whether the relatively low sperm counts and other signs of poor semen quality translate to reduced fertility is not known. Study author Dr. De-Kun Li, a scientist at the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research in Oakland, Calif., noted that even men with extremely low sperm counts can father children.

But Li said finding that BPA may affect sperm is troubling because it echoes studies in animals and follows his previous research in the same men that linked BPA exposure with sexual problems.

If BPA exposure can reduce sperm levels, "that can't be good" and means more study is needed to check for other harmful effects, Li said.

The study was published online Thursday in the journal Fertility and Sterility. The National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health funded the research.

Andrea Gore, a pharmacology and toxicology professor at the University of Texas who was not involved in the research, called it an important but preliminary study.

The results "are at least suggestive of the possibility that BPA may be one of the compounds that are causing some of these changes" in sperm, she said. But Gore said stronger evidence is needed to prove that BPA is indeed the culprit.

BPA is used to make resins and strengthen plastics and is found in many consumer products: hard plastic bottles, metal food container linings, dental sealants and eyeglasses. Most Americans' urine contains measurable levels of BPA.

Studies in animals have linked the chemical with reproductive problems and cancer. That's led to millions of dollars in new research in people.

Steven Hentges of the American Chemistry Council, an industry group, said the study in China "is of limited relevance" to U.S. consumers, who typically are exposed to very low BPA levels that pose no health threat.

The study involved 130 Chinese factory employees who worked directly with materials containing BPA and 88 workers who didn't handle it and whose exposure was similar to that of typical American men.

Low sperm counts were found in workers who had detectable levels of bisphenol-A in their urine. Poor sperm quality was two to four times more prevalent among these men than among workers whose urine showed no sign of BPA. The lowest sperm counts were in men with the highest levels of BPA.

BPA in urine was linked with lower-quality semen even in men who didn't work with the chemical, although their average BPA levels were much lower than in the other group. Li said the average level in this group was similar to that detected in U.S. men.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has been evaluating the chemical's safety but declined to say if it is considering following Canada's lead in declaring the chemical toxic.

In an e-mailed statement, the FDA said it is working with the National Institutes of Health and others "to advance scientific understanding of BPA and inform our decisions."

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Australia says this Calvin Klein jeans ad promotes 'violence and rape'

Once again, designer Calvin Klein is mired in controversy for his provocative ads.

His latest ad for Calvin Klein jeans has been banned in Australia after the continent’s Advertising Standards Bureau ruled that it was 'suggestive of violence and rape'.

Lara Stone, the gap-toothed face of the brand is seen lying on her back on the lap of one shirtless male model who is holding her hair. Another shirtless model is hovering above her, his hand beneath her.

They seem to be in a public park in an urban space since the models are up against a chain-link fence.

The ad was part of a series but it was this particular billboard shot that caused the outcry from activists who said the photo was using images of gang rape to sell clothing.

The government ordered the ads be taken down.

"The Board considered that whilst the act depicted could be consensual, the overall impact and most likely impression is that the scene is suggestive of violence and rape,” said a spokesman.

"We considered that the image was demeaning to women by suggesting that she is a plaything of these men."

Risque ads that push the envelope is nothing new to the designer and his brand.

In New York City in 2008, Soho residents protested a giant billboard that showed actress Eva Mendez in a scantily clad embrace with two men.

In 1996, critics, including President Clinton cried pedophilia over his campaign featuring young, scantily clad models in what appeared to the basement of a rec-room being spoken to by a man off-camera. The TV ads were run in New York only before they were withdrawn.

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Old and in love, yes, but many aren't well-informed about preventing STDs.
Do middle-aged people need sex ed?

The number of forty- and fiftysomethings in the U.K diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease last year was double the number in 2000, according to data reported in the Daily Mail.

Nearly 13,000 middle-aged men and women were diagnosed in 2009 with an STD, according to data analyzed by the Family Planning Association.

The incidence of the STD chlamydia among women above the age of 45 rose 95% in the past nine years, and the FPA is seeing a 30% increase in the number of calls to its helpline from older citizens concerned about sexually transmitted diseases.

To draw attention to the issue, the FPA is launching a campaign, The Middle-age Spread, that targets Brits over 50.

Individuals who are leaving long-term relationships now use social networking to start dating again, but may be "apparently oblivious to the need for safer sex and the importance of condoms," according to the FPA, as reported by the Daily Mail.

FPA chief executive Julie Bentley says people in this age group may find it hard to discuss issues surrounding sex.

"We celebrate the positive and fulfilling sexuality of the over-50s, but we also have to get the message across that STIs (sexually transmitted infections) don’t care about graying hair and a few wrinkles," she said. "This is a concerning situation which unless we take action now is only going to get worse."

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Ella, an emergency contraceptive that can be taken up to 5 days after unprotected sex, has been approved by the FDA. Plan B, above, can only be taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex.


A controversial emergency contraceptive that women could take up to five days after they had unprotected sex has won federal approval, the drug's manufacturer said.

The medication provides two more days than Plan B, the "morning-after" pill that's already available to women.

Known as "ella," the new drug will hit the markets later this year, according to its makers, Watson Pharmaceuticals.

Women will need a prescription from their doctor to obtain ella. Plan B is available over the counter.

The new drug blocks the female hormone progesterone, stopping ovaries from producing eggs.

The Food and Drug Administration gave the OK to ella two months ago. The manufacturer's announcement on Friday drew praise and criticism along the political spectrum.

Kirsten Moore, president of Reproductive Health Technologies Project, said ella gives "couples another safe and effective option for preventing unintended pregnancy after unprotected sex or contraceptive failure."

Critics said the new drug should not have been classified as emergency contraception because it can induce an abortion. Emergency contraceptives are eligible for federal funding.

"This decision flies in the face of the Obama administration's promise to transparency and a commitment to science," said Jeanne Monahan, a director at the Family Research Council. "The difference between preventing and destroying life is enormous, and women have the right to know how this drug will act on their bodies and on their babies."

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As sexual beings, it's important to remind ourselves that sexual abuse is never a normal, healthy part of human sexuality or expression. When it happens, there is always an offender, always a victim. Healthy sexuality does not create victims.

Sexual abuse involves power, control, rage and other intense, unresolved issues which are acted out in a sexual way. In any form, it entails an imbalance of personal power and disrespect for the boundaries of others--whether it's hands-off offending, like obscene phone calls and letters, or hands-on offending, like inappropriate touching, rape and other intense forms of sexual assault.

Disabilities create major changes in people's lives, and survivors often find they have less control--in an abundance of ways--than they once had. This can make them more vulnerable to those who might exploit their disability, sexual abusers included.

Sex offenders seek out the most vulnerable prospects as victims, and people with limited mobility are easy targets. Crucial to not becoming a victim is looking ahead and having a safety plan--how to feel, act and be as safe and strong as possible.

Don't Be a Victim

Attitude is paramount--if you feel confident, it shows. If you don't, that shows, too. Knowledge is equally important--where to get help if you need it, how to use self-defense tactics within your physical limitations, what your neighborhood and neighbors are like, where it's safe and where it's not. And you need to know these things both at home and away from home.

Some abusers are less obvious and more insidious than the chance attacker. They exploit vulnerability and create victims in more private ways. Some are personal health care providers, for example. By the nature of their work, they are in a position of providing--or withholding--your personal care needs. They have access to your most intimate spaces, psychological and physical, and may have the ability to set you up for abuse. This abuse, regrettably, is seldom reported to police.

If you depend on others for care, you need assertively protect yourself from abuse. Screen anyone who works for you. Unless you know them personally, always check references with diligence. If you can do so legally, run a criminal history check. And trust your hunches--if for some reason someone doesn't feel "right" to you, listen to that little voice and hire someone else. Or if that someone is already working for you, let him or her go.

Another form of subtle abuse is sexual exploitation in a relationship. The thing to watch out for here is skewed personal power. If both partners aren't on even ground with mutual respect and caring, equal control of the relationship and individual value--abuse can follow.

Do what you can to avoid becoming a victim. But if you or someone you know is abused, report it to the police and take steps to get counseling and emotional support.

Victims are never to blame for what has happened. Time and support can help them to be strong survivors. And it's never too late to spill the beans; a lady in her 80s once told me about being abused as a teen. I was the only person she'd ever mentioned it to, and being able to talk about it meant a lot to her.

The Bottom Line

You might be asking yourself, "Can people with disabilities be offenders as well as victims?" Of course, though they are a small minority. I do know of a paraplegic woman who sexually abused a boy for over a year, but he kept it to himself until he was an adult. Clearly she had her own unresolved problems and, in this case, acted them out through child sexual abuse.

The bottom line is this--respect and value yourself, and work through your personal issues (we all have them). Acknowledge and face the limitations imposed by your disability, and be assertive in relating to the world and the people in it. Be proactive about personal safety, and if you are ever sexually abused, despite your precautions, talk with someone you can trust who can give you caring support.

While sexuality is a wonderful part of being human, sexual abuse is a hurtful and quite different aspect of our human experience.

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Question:

My husband sustained a spinal cord injury just a year after we married. He said that he pretty much is not interested in sex anymore. I try to be understanding and assure him that to be even cuddled or for him to hold my hand and talk a bit would be wonderful...but he refuses to even do that. He does not touch me at all. When I go up to even hug him goodbye he pushes me away as soon as he can. I have begged him to go to marriage counseling with me to get help but he refuses. This has gone on for years and to be honest I feel like I am going to go insane. His refusal to even try to work on our problems has made me resentful and I have stopped even trying. I live in one part of the house and he lives in the other and we don't spend time together at all without fighting. Part of me thinks, "Leave and get a life" and part of me still loves him, feels sorry for him, and feels that marriage is a sacred thing and when I said for better or worse it was a vow that I should live with. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I am miserable.

Answer

It sounds like you are both miserable! Obviously that's not a great way to live your life together. Unfortunately it often gets to this point before one partner gets fed-up or worn-out and, through desperation, reaches out for help. Since you’re the one reaching out, I'll direct my comments to you. While the cuddling, holding hands, and talking combo is a great prescription, one that I would definitely include somewhere down the line if I were a therapist, it is a prescription based on understanding from your point of view as a woman. I'll give you some over generalized insights about men that may help you to have a better understanding from your husband's perspective. I'll also offer a few general words of advice.

Avoidance seems to be a common reaction for men when faced with inability to live up to an expected role. We are trained to be goal oriented and to finish what we start. We are also trained not to show our fears and not to reveal our weaknesses. Cuddling and holding hands translates into an initiation of intimacy, which for many men means the start of sex. Talking means sharing our feelings. Your husband is likely feeling incapable of being the husband he imagined when he said I do, and incapable of being the lover he was before his injury. He probably also senses that you feel sorry for him which is likely to compound his feelings of being a burden instead of a provider. Cuddling, holding hands, and talking may all be painful reminders of his inability to fulfill his role as husband and hence may be interpreted as direct threats to his manhood. Sometimes fighting and displaying anger are the only other actions that we are well versed in when the first line of defense, avoidance, isn't working.

What does this mean for you and your relationship? Begging, pleading, and trying to get your husband to change have not been successful. The other option is changing you. If he will not go with you to counseling, go on your own. Work through your conflicted feelings then make a plan for how you will relate to your husband with the support of a therapist. You can let your husband know that you still love him and are committed to the ideal of marriage, but from now on you will not be trying to change him as his lack of willingness only feeds your resentment. You will be doing whatever you need to do to gain a sense of sanity for yourself. Then he will have to choose to make his own changes in order to maintain and improve the relationship or to continue on in misery on his own. Choice can be empowering and give us a sense of control we need to act in ways that we know are good for the heart.

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If you ever think that guys have it easier, here’s some news that may comfort you: Guys may get hot flashes, too.

Some men experience a decrease in hormones when they hit middle age, according to a study in the New England Journal of Medicine that was reported in the Daily Mail. And reduced levels of testosterone can cause everything from lowered libido to fatigue, just like menopause does.

Still, male menopause is an uncommon condition that affects only a small minority: 3% of men actually experience physical symptoms from less testosterone, according to the study, and lower testosterone levels are a natural part of aging.

Older men generally have lower hormone levels than younger ones, with testosterone levels decreasing about 1% a year after age 30, according to the Mayo Clinic. By a man’s 70th birthday, the levels may be as much as 50% lower. Other medical conditions, like obstructive sleep apnea, also can cause testosterone levels to decline.

Medical experts say men should get a physical to see if they need testosterone-replacement therapy.

Men may feel depressed for other reasons as well. They frequently decline physically more dramatically OR RAPIDLY???? than women and may experience a sense of growing mortality. Men tend to die several years earlier than women.

While male menopause is uncommon, guys also are prone to a kind of psychological menopause at middle age when, as the Daily Mail reports, they come to realize they’re actually more like bumbling Clark Kent than Superman. And that realization’s sobering enough to put anyone in a bad mood.

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Nearly 70 percent of women in a recent European study reported  having a heavy partner, but the same wasn't true for men.

Scientists say being fat can be bad for the bedroom, especially if you're a woman.

In a new study, European researchers found obese women had more trouble finding a sexual partner than their normal-weight counterparts, though the same wasn't true for obese men, and were four times as likely to have an unplanned pregnancy. Fat men also reported a higher rate of erectile dysfunction.

Experts interviewed more than 12,000 French men and women aged 18 to 69 about their sexual experiences and analyzed the results based on their Body Mass Index.

Obese women were 30 percent less likely than normal-weight women to have had a sexual partner in the last year. In comparison, there was little difference among obese men and normal-weight men as to whether they found a sexual partner.

The results were published online Wednesday in the medical journal BMJ. The study was paid for by several French government agencies.

People with a BMI of 18-24 are considered to have a healthy weight. Those with a BMI of 25 or above are considered overweight and people with a BMI of 30 or more are classified as obese.

Previous studies have found similar trends, but researchers were surprised by the discrepancy they found between the genders as to how excess weight affects peoples' sex lives.

''Maybe women are more tolerant of tubby husbands than men are of tubby wives,'' said Kaye Wellings, a professor of sexual and reproductive health at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and one of the BMJ study authors.

Experts said the problems faced by obese people were probably due to a combination of physical problems linked to obesity as well as other issues, like low self-esteem and social prejudices.

Obese people are at higher risk anyway for diabetes, depression and urinary stress incontinence, all of which can hinder sex. If people are extremely heavy, they might also have muscular or skeletal problems that make sex challenging.

The researchers found that obese women were less likely to ask for birth control services, and thus, four times more likely to accidentally get pregnant. Pregnant fat women and their babies also faced a higher risk of complications and death than normal-weight women.

Dr. Sandy Goldbeck-Wood, a specialist in psychosexual medicine at a London sexual health clinic, said physicians must talk to obese women about birth control.

''Doctors need to get over their own embarrassment and ask the difficult questions,'' she said. Goldbeck-Wood was not linked to the study but wrote an accompanying editorial in the BMJ.

Wellings and colleagues found obese men and women with a partner were no different from normal-weight people in terms of how often they had sex.

They also found that women tended to have partners with a similar body shape. Nearly 70 percent of fat women reported having a partner who was also heavy, while only about 40 percent of fat men had a similarly proportioned partner.

Some experts said the growing obesity epidemic in the West would worsen sexual dysfunction problems.

''This is not a heart attack or a stroke...but it's an important quality of life factor and a public health problem,'' said Dr. Andrew McCullough, an associate professor of clinical urology at New York University School of Medicine and director of male sexual health at NYU's Langone Medical Center.

He said the study's findings should provide another reason for people to trim their waistlines.

''It seems like a no-brainer,'' he said. ''If you lose weight, you will feel more attractive and that could improve your sex life.''

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Nụ cười rạng rỡ của Dayana Mendoza tại Manila,  Philippines.

The many names, affectionate and derogatory, we use in reference to female buttocks suggest the range of ambivalent associations they elicit. “Booty” holds the promise of illicit pleasures. “Fanny” desexualizes the female behind, turning it into a sweet but inconsequential body part. The command to “get off your fanny” is less hostile than “get off your ass.” A “tush” is small and tight, a “rump” is round and fleshy, a “can” is fat and lazy. As Sander Gilman points out, the “buttocks are an ever-shifting symbolic site in the body…. Never do they represent themselves.” Female buttocks function as metaphors for traits that a society values or rejects. Their meanings vary between cultures and among ethnic groups; while a bounteous butt may bring out disgust or disdain in some social circles, it evokes a range of positive associations in others.

In mainstream U.S. culture, “bubble butts” have typically been associated with “lowly” subject positions or “vulgar” sexuality. Calling too much attention to one’s behind is considered uncouth in polite society, a nasty reminder of forbidden or distasteful acts. A big butt is associated with “unnatural” sex, excrement, or the excess and physicality identified with “darker” races. This body metaphor helps us constitute social identities and subject positions. Like most females growing up in America, I learned early on that bodily attributes such as butt size, hair texture, skin color, and body shape could convey a woman’s status and desirability. During my teens, achieving the “all American girl” look that graced the covers of fashion magazines meant dieting the butt into submission. A woman’s failure to reign in an unruly butt connoted her lack of discipline and self-control, and by association, her inferior moral character. It also marked her place in the social order: “high class” women did not carry excess baggage in the trunk. A skinny ass identified you with the elegant and never too rich, never too thin social elite, big butts with the mammies and maids.

But growing up in Miami, where Latinos comprise a majority, meant that I also had to negotiate another repertoire of butt metaphors and associations. While my American girlfriends dreamed of acquiring bigger breasts, the Cuban women in my family stressed the value of a bounteous derrière. Thus in my Little Havana neighborhood, a generously endowed backside earned appreciative glances or wolf-whistles. I knew that the size and shape of my butt identified the degree of my cultural assimilation. Thus buttocks registered a cultural divide: flat butts signaled conformity to American beauty standards, voluptuous hips expressed ethnic pride. To my mom, my refusal to put more meat on my bones seemed a deliberate form of rebellion, another sign of my increasing distance from her native culture. Straightening my hair and speaking without an accent helped downplay my ethnicity, but nothing screamed “Latinness” like an unabashedly big ass. After all, my mother and her friends delighted in their fulsome booty. A skinny ass provoked pitying looks from the matronly Cubanas, for whom it portended sterile, passionless marriages and unfaithful husbands. But to their more assimilated daughters, big culos were associated with “cubanazas”—those too loud, too fat, “too Cuban” women who were the butt of our jokes. An older generation of Cuban women considered abundant buns an asset, but to those of us who came of age with Twiggy images, a fat ass was a shameful reminder of our ethnic difference.

J. Lo Curves

In recent years, however, Americans have been enjoying a butt fling. Voluptuous female buttocks have become a valuable commodity, exploited in advertising campaigns, music videos, and specialty men’s magazines. This butt appeal has produced a profitable commercial market for “bootyful” women. What sparked mainstream culture’s lusty fondness for women with big butts? Angharad Valdivia credits the famous J. Lo butt, arguing that Lopez single handedly ushered in a butt focus within contemporary U.S. culture, intervening “into codes of beauty and femininity which until quite recently…relied exclusively on that nearly butt-less look….” One London-based magazine reported that Lopez’s rounded posterior made “curvy bottoms trendy” and created “a demand for silicone buttock implants” (Daily Mail 2003). In an article in Vanity Fair, Ned Zeman claims that Lopez “created a phenomenon in which a pair of buttocks became, in and of themselves, a cultural icon. Entire news articles would focus on The Lopez Ass, as if it were a separate life-form.”

What are we to make of this apparent notice of what plastic surgeons call the “gluteal aesthetic”? Commenting on the popularity of Jennifer’s butt, Frances Negron Muntaner contends that it offers “a way of speaking about Africa in(side) America.” In Muntaner’s reading, a big butt is an “invitation to pleasures construed as illicit by puritan ideologies, heternormativity, and the medical establishment through the three deadly vectors of miscegenation, sodomy, and a high-fat diet.” Further, Latinas are said to be embracing another standard of beauty and reclaiming, along with Lopez, “a curvaceous Latin body.” Several critics express this optimism, maintaining along with Mary Beltran that for Lopez “to declare beautiful and unashamedly display her well-endowed posterior . . . could be viewed as nothing less than positive—a revolutionary act with respect to Anglo beauty ideals.” Frances Aparicio notes that the bodies of Jennifer Lopez and Selena (similarly marked by curvy bottoms) have become symbols of ethnic pride. Given J.Lo’s status as Hollywood’s most highly paid Latina actress, her abundant assets represent both figurative and literal “booty.” Thus while Lopez’s remark that she likes to accentuate her “curvaceous Latin body” may express ethnic pride, it also signals the commercial viability of a voluptuous tush.

Racialized Bodies and Sexual Stereotypes

Buttocks have long been a source of cultural capital in the West, serving as emblems of sexual, racial, or ethnic difference. As Gilman and others have noted, difference is that which threatens order and control, the polar opposite of our individual or group identity. Valdivia puts it this way: “We can go so far as noting that Jennifer is represented in terms of her butt, and that her butt represents ethnic difference.” It is therefore not surprising that all the gossip and craze inspired by the J.Lo butt reminded me of another infamous butt—that 19th century colonized rump belonging to Saartje Baartman, dubbed by her masters and impresarios, the “Hottentot Venus.” This young African woman’s steatopygia—large, protruding butt—served as a sign of all that perplexed, fascinated, and horrified Europeans in the early 1800s about their darker others. Displayed throughout Europe, Saartje’s sign value as alien body persisted even after her death at twenty-five. Doctors dissected and preserved her genitals in glass jars, her large buttocks displayed for curious spectators eager to see bodily evidence of the African woman’s propensity to excess, deviant sexuality.

We should not underestimate the symbolic value of buttocks. Butt metaphors helped European cultures categorize and describe their others, ascribing bodily differences certain moral and intellectual attributes. Gilman argues that, “Beginning with the expansion of European colonial exploration, describing the forms and size of the buttocks became a means of describing and classifying the races. The more prominent the more primitive…” (Making the Body Beautiful). British culture, in particular, identified the buttocks with primitive or debased sexuality (Havelock Ellis, Studies in the Psychology of Sex). Non-Western women were associated with the “lower regions” of the body and characterized in terms of their abundant backside. Similarly, in American culture, the U.S.-Mexico border marked a figurative divide between Northern mind and Southern body, rationality and sensuality, domestic and foreign. This bodily trope culled associations between the lower body and the inferior, more primitive “under” developed “torrid zones” south of the border; it often served to rationalize U.S. military interventions or corporate exploitation of Latin American labor and resources.

Brazillian Butt Lifts and the Big Booty Look

But in today’s transnational economy, the buttocks have become a precious commodity. Avital Levy’s documentary film, Bootyful World, which explores social attitudes toward female butts, includes a brief interview with Dr. Anthony Griffin, a famous plastic surgeon who claims that requests for his “Brazilian Butt Lift” surgery have surpassed all other surgeries in popularity, despite his $15,000-plus fee. Marketed as a sign of authenticity (of “real women”), big butts also help sell a range of products. Literally expanding their target demographic, Dove’s “real beauty” advertising campaign featured full-bodied women in their underwear, prominent hips and thighs in proud display. Nike’s “Just do it” campaign included a “Big Butts” promotion; full-page ads featured a protruding female butt in profile. Big-butted models have even been gracing the pages of fashion magazines that once catered exclusively to Kate Moss wannabes. As a result, women without a sufficiently endowed behind are getting implants or buying butt reshaping cushions on ebay. Of course, hip-hop culture has consistently celebrated the physicality of a big butt, and many a male rapper has sung the praises of bountiful booty. As Tara Lockhart points out, rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot has earned a hefty profit with his 1992 song, “Baby Got Back” (which was re-released on the 2000 Charlie’s Angels soundtrack). Sir Mix-A-Lot’s lyrics situate the fondness for a big butt “squarely within portions of the black community.”

In this context, as in my Little Havana neighborhood, a woman with a generous posterior signals an invitation to sexual pleasure. Several specialty men’s magazines have sprung up to feed this increasing market demand for models with ample booty. Unlike Playboy or Maxim that cater to “breast men,” magazines like King, Sweets, and Smooth appeal to men who covet women with voluptuous derrieres. They sell “authenticity” as well, turning “booty love” into a sign of ethnic masculinity. “Urban men, we like butts, we like hips. It’s a black and Hispanic thing,” says Antoine Clark, publisher of Sweets. Big booty isn’t just profitable these days for magazine publishers, ad execs, retailers, and rap artists. Some women’s careers now ride, literally, on their butts. African American model Buffie the Body owes her fame and fortune to her huge butt. As a highly paid model in men’s magazines, Buffie has found her calling in life by embodying the fantasies of butt lovers everywhere. “People normally see the light-skinned, small girls…in magazines, and maybe they were just tired of that and wanted to see something different, something real,” she told Ben Westhoff in an interview. “Even white guys are coming out of the closet, admitting their fetish for big butts! They were just always shy about it, sort of scared, before I hit it big. But now there are people from Switzerland, the U.K., Ireland, and Canada who order calendars from me.” Buffie concludes that if it weren’t for her big butt she “wouldn’t have made all this money.”

Body Politics of Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton

Perhaps, as Erin Aubry Kaplan wrote recently in Salon magazine, “Lord knows, it’s time the butt got some respect.” Noting that a protruding butt has been “both vilified and fetishized as the most singular of all black female features, more unsettling than dark skin and full lips,” Kaplan goes on to celebrate the emergence of Michelle Obama’s “solid, round, black, class-A boo-ta” on the nation’s political stage. With the election of Barack Obama, Kaplan argues, America finally has a First Lady with an unabashedly bounteous behind: “As America fretted about Obama’s exoticism and he sought to calm the waters with speeches about unity and common experience…. Here was one clear signifier of blackness that couldn’t be tamed, muted or otherwise made invisible.” Kaplan rightly reminds us that, “Black women are not the only ones with protruding behinds…. How many gluteally endowed nonblack women have been derided for having a black ass? Well, Hillary, for one.”

It may well be that America’s butt fling signals a growing acceptance of difference—a desire to broaden the repertoire of acceptable body types and beauty myths. If this celebration of fulsome booty helps women move beyond the self-hatred and anxiety attached to body fat or encourages ethnic pride in women whose bodies have historically been pathologized and denigrated—then power to the butt, indeed. But then again, in a consumer society, fashion trends are short-lived and the demand for novelty fuels profit. Will the buttocks be relegated to the margins of culture once more, disavowed and disowned by a fickle mainstream culture? Either way, I’ll still be dreaming of a time when (to loosely paraphrase Martin Luther King), women will be judged by the content of their character and not the size of their butts. Now that would be truly bootyful.

Source: http://nsrc.sfsu.edu/

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In recent years, the male foreskin—a double-folded tube of skin and mucous membrane that covers the head of the penis—has taken center stage in the battle against HIV. The foreskin is rich in Langerhans cells, immune cells that are particularly easy for the virus to access. Following infection, these cells not only serve as reservoirs for replicating the virus, but also transport it to nearby lymph nodes where HIV spreads to other immune cells. Studies have shown that removal of the foreskin can reduce a man’s risk of heterosexually acquired HIV infection by 50 to 65 percent, findings that prompted large-scale circumcision campaigns in countries with high infection rates, such as sub-Saharan Africa, where heterosexual sex is primarily responsible for the HIV epidemic. Studies had also suggested that circumcision could reduce the rate of male-to-female transmission of the virus, but that turns out not to be the case.

A Ugandan study, led by Dr. Maria J. Wawer of Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore, was stopped early after it became apparent that male circumcision offered no protection to female partners. The study involved 922 uncircumcised, HIV-infected men between 15 and 49 years of age who were randomly chosen to either be circumcised or remain uncircumcised. The HIV-free female partners of the male participants were also enrolled in the study, 90 in the circumcised group and 70 in the uncircumcised group, and their HIV status was evaluated after 6, 12 and 24 months. All participants were intensively schooled in HIV prevention and provided free condoms.

After two years, 18 percent of the women in the circumcised group had become infected with HIV, compared with 12 percent in the uncircumcised group. Cumulative probability of HIV infection at 24 months was 22 percent among women in the circumcised group and 13 percent among those in the uncircumcised group. The majority of the infections in the circumcised group occurred within the six months following the procedure. The researchers said the infections were caused because some of the men had intercourse before their circumcision wounds had healed, exposing their female partners to HIV-infected blood in the vagina.

The researchers said though they were disappointed with the outcome of the study, circumcision campaigns are still valid. “The efficacy of male circumcision for prevention of HIV in uninfected men is clear, and reductions in male acquisition of HIV attributable to circumcision are likely to reduce women’s exposure to HIV-infected men. Male circumcision programs are thus likely to confer an overall benefit to women,” the researchers concluded.

In an editorial accompanying the study, Dr Jared M. Baeton, from the University of Washington in Seattle, and colleagues stressed the importance of circumcision programs for men at risk of HIV, and argued for more effort being focused on people in relationships where one partner is HIV-infected and the other is not. “Prevention services for this population, including HIV testing for couples, facilitated disclosure of HIV seropositivity, and ongoing counseling services, should be a public health priority,” they write. “Such services should be incorporated into male circumcision programs, thereby providing further protection to HIV uninfected women.”

An estimated 33 million people worldwide are living with HIV/AIDS, but the World Health Organization (WHO) says circumcision has the potential to dramatically reduce the toll of the virus, averting an estimated 5.7 million new infections and three million deaths over the next 20 years in sub-Saharan Africa alone.

Both the study and the editorial appear in the July 18 issue of The Lancet.

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Married couples over 45 report less satisfaction with sex,  according to a new AARP study.

Americans 45 and older are far more open to sex outside of marriage than they were 10 years ago, but they're engaging in sex less often and with less satisfaction, according to a major new survey.

What's the problem?

Financial stress is a prime culprit, said sociologist Pepper Schwartz, the sex and relationship expert for the American Association of Retired People, which conducted the study.

"The economy has had an impact on these people," she said. "They're more liberal in their attitudes, yet they're having sex less often. The only thing I see that's changed in a negative direction is financial worries."

The survey, being released Friday, is based on detailed questionnaires completed last year by 1,670 people 45 and over. The AARP, which represents 40 million Americans over 50, conducted similar surveys on sexual attitudes and practices in 1999 and 2004.

One of the most pronounced changes over the 10-year span dealt with sex outside of marriage. In the 1999 survey, 41% of the respondents said nonmarital sex was wrong. That figure dropped to 22% in the new survey.

Yet sexual activity marital or not seems to be less frequent overall for this age group. In the new survey, 28% said they had intercourse at least once a week, and 40% at least once a month both categories were down roughly 10 percentage points from 2004.

Asked if they were satisfied with their sex lives, 43% in the new survey said yes, down from 51% in 2004.

One intriguing finding: Respondents who had a partner but weren't married had sex more frequently and with more satisfaction than respondents who were married.

"These long-term married couples may get a little less interested," Schwartz said. "Older people in nonmarried relations work harder at it and enjoy it more."

Schwartz, a professor at the University of Washington and author of 16 books on relationships, said it was notable how even respondents in their 70s and 80s stressed that sex was important to their quality of life.

"The big difference as people age is not that sex becomes less important but that a partner becomes less accessible," she said.

Gender differences were pronounced in several responses. Men think about sex and engage it more often than women, and are about twice as likely as women (21 percent versus 11%) to admit to sexual activity outside their primary relationship.

With many older men likely to have multiple partners, Schwartz expressed concern that only 12% of the survey's sexually active single males reported using condoms. She cautioned that even the elderly should not ignore the risk of sexually transmitted disease.

nydailynews.com
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The many names, affectionate and derogatory, we use in reference to female buttocks suggest the range of ambivalent associations they elicit. “Booty” holds the promise of illicit pleasures. “Fanny” desexualizes the female behind, turning it into a sweet but inconsequential body part. The command to “get off your fanny” is less hostile than “get off your ass.” A “tush” is small and tight, a “rump” is round and fleshy, a “can” is fat and lazy. As Sander Gilman points out, the “buttocks are an ever-shifting symbolic site in the body…. Never do they represent themselves.” Female buttocks function as metaphors for traits that a society values or rejects. Their meanings vary between cultures and among ethnic groups; while a bounteous butt may bring out disgust or disdain in some social circles, it evokes a range of positive associations in others.

In mainstream U.S. culture, “bubble butts” have typically been associated with “lowly” subject positions or “vulgar” sexuality. Calling too much attention to one’s behind is considered uncouth in polite society, a nasty reminder of forbidden or distasteful acts. A big butt is associated with “unnatural” sex, excrement, or the excess and physicality identified with “darker” races. This body metaphor helps us constitute social identities and subject positions. Like most females growing up in America, I learned early on that bodily attributes such as butt size, hair texture, skin color, and body shape could convey a woman’s status and desirability. During my teens, achieving the “all American girl” look that graced the covers of fashion magazines meant dieting the butt into submission. A woman’s failure to reign in an unruly butt connoted her lack of discipline and self-control, and by association, her inferior moral character. It also marked her place in the social order: “high class” women did not carry excess baggage in the trunk. A skinny ass identified you with the elegant and never too rich, never too thin social elite, big butts with the mammies and maids.

But growing up in Miami, where Latinos comprise a majority, meant that I also had to negotiate another repertoire of butt metaphors and associations. While my American girlfriends dreamed of acquiring bigger breasts, the Cuban women in my family stressed the value of a bounteous derrière. Thus in my Little Havana neighborhood, a generously endowed backside earned appreciative glances or wolf-whistles. I knew that the size and shape of my butt identified the degree of my cultural assimilation. Thus buttocks registered a cultural divide: flat butts signaled conformity to American beauty standards, voluptuous hips expressed ethnic pride. To my mom, my refusal to put more meat on my bones seemed a deliberate form of rebellion, another sign of my increasing distance from her native culture. Straightening my hair and speaking without an accent helped downplay my ethnicity, but nothing screamed “Latinness” like an unabashedly big ass. After all, my mother and her friends delighted in their fulsome booty. A skinny ass provoked pitying looks from the matronly Cubanas, for whom it portended sterile, passionless marriages and unfaithful husbands. But to their more assimilated daughters, big culos were associated with “cubanazas”—those too loud, too fat, “too Cuban” women who were the butt of our jokes. An older generation of Cuban women considered abundant buns an asset, but to those of us who came of age with Twiggy images, a fat ass was a shameful reminder of our ethnic difference.

J. Lo Curves

In recent years, however, Americans have been enjoying a butt fling. Voluptuous female buttocks have become a valuable commodity, exploited in advertising campaigns, music videos, and specialty men’s magazines. This butt appeal has produced a profitable commercial market for “bootyful” women. What sparked mainstream culture’s lusty fondness for women with big butts? Angharad Valdivia credits the famous J. Lo butt, arguing that Lopez single handedly ushered in a butt focus within contemporary U.S. culture, intervening “into codes of beauty and femininity which until quite recently…relied exclusively on that nearly butt-less look….” One London-based magazine reported that Lopez's rounded posterior made “curvy bottoms trendy” and created “a demand for silicone buttock implants” (Daily Mail 2003). In an article in Vanity Fair, Ned Zeman claims that Lopez “created a phenomenon in which a pair of buttocks became, in and of themselves, a cultural icon. Entire news articles would focus on The Lopez Ass, as if it were a separate life-form.”

What are we to make of this apparent notice of what plastic surgeons call the “gluteal aesthetic”? Commenting on the popularity of Jennifer’s butt, Frances Negron Muntaner contends that it offers “a way of speaking about Africa in(side) America.” In Muntaner’s reading, a big butt is an “invitation to pleasures construed as illicit by puritan ideologies, heternormativity, and the medical establishment through the three deadly vectors of miscegenation, sodomy, and a high-fat diet.” Further, Latinas are said to be embracing another standard of beauty and reclaiming, along with Lopez, “a curvaceous Latin body.” Several critics express this optimism, maintaining along with Mary Beltran that for Lopez “to declare beautiful and unashamedly display her well-endowed posterior . . . could be viewed as nothing less than positive—a revolutionary act with respect to Anglo beauty ideals.” Frances Aparicio notes that the bodies of Jennifer Lopez and Selena (similarly marked by curvy bottoms) have become symbols of ethnic pride. Given J.Lo’s status as Hollywood’s most highly paid Latina actress, her abundant assets represent both figurative and literal “booty.” Thus while Lopez’s remark that she likes to accentuate her “curvaceous Latin body” may express ethnic pride, it also signals the commercial viability of a voluptuous tush.

Racialized Bodies and Sexual Stereotypes

Buttocks have long been a source of cultural capital in the West, serving as emblems of sexual, racial, or ethnic difference. As Gilman and others have noted, difference is that which threatens order and control, the polar opposite of our individual or group identity. Valdivia puts it this way: “We can go so far as noting that Jennifer is represented in terms of her butt, and that her butt represents ethnic difference.” It is therefore not surprising that all the gossip and craze inspired by the J.Lo butt reminded me of another infamous butt—that 19th century colonized rump belonging to Saartje Baartman, dubbed by her masters and impresarios, the “Hottentot Venus.” This young African woman’s steatopygia—large, protruding butt—served as a sign of all that perplexed, fascinated, and horrified Europeans in the early 1800s about their darker others. Displayed throughout Europe, Saartje’s sign value as alien body persisted even after her death at twenty-five. Doctors dissected and preserved her genitals in glass jars, her large buttocks displayed for curious spectators eager to see bodily evidence of the African woman’s propensity to excess, deviant sexuality.

We should not underestimate the symbolic value of buttocks. Butt metaphors helped European cultures categorize and describe their others, ascribing bodily differences certain moral and intellectual attributes. Gilman argues that, “Beginning with the expansion of European colonial exploration, describing the forms and size of the buttocks became a means of describing and classifying the races. The more prominent the more primitive…” (Making the Body Beautiful). British culture, in particular, identified the buttocks with primitive or debased sexuality (Havelock Ellis, Studies in the Psychology of Sex). Non-Western women were associated with the “lower regions” of the body and characterized in terms of their abundant backside. Similarly, in American culture, the U.S.-Mexico border marked a figurative divide between Northern mind and Southern body, rationality and sensuality, domestic and foreign. This bodily trope culled associations between the lower body and the inferior, more primitive “under” developed “torrid zones” south of the border; it often served to rationalize U.S. military interventions or corporate exploitation of Latin American labor and resources.

Brazillian Butt Lifts and the Big Booty Look

But in today’s transnational economy, the buttocks have become a precious commodity. Avital Levy’s documentary film, Bootyful World, which explores social attitudes toward female butts, includes a brief interview with Dr. Anthony Griffin, a famous plastic surgeon who claims that requests for his “Brazilian Butt Lift” surgery have surpassed all other surgeries in popularity, despite his $15,000-plus fee. Marketed as a sign of authenticity (of “real women”), big butts also help sell a range of products. Literally expanding their target demographic, Dove’s “real beauty” advertising campaign featured full-bodied women in their underwear, prominent hips and thighs in proud display. Nike’s “Just do it” campaign included a “Big Butts” promotion; full-page ads featured a protruding female butt in profile. Big-butted models have even been gracing the pages of fashion magazines that once catered exclusively to Kate Moss wannabes. As a result, women without a sufficiently endowed behind are getting implants or buying butt reshaping cushions on ebay. Of course, hip-hop culture has consistently celebrated the physicality of a big butt, and many a male rapper has sung the praises of bountiful booty. As Tara Lockhart points out, rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot has earned a hefty profit with his 1992 song, “Baby Got Back” (which was re-released on the 2000 Charlie’s Angels soundtrack). Sir Mix-A-Lot’s lyrics situate the fondness for a big butt “squarely within portions of the black community.”

In this context, as in my Little Havana neighborhood, a woman with a generous posterior signals an invitation to sexual pleasure. Several specialty men’s magazines have sprung up to feed this increasing market demand for models with ample booty. Unlike Playboy or Maxim that cater to “breast men,” magazines like King, Sweets, and Smooth appeal to men who covet women with voluptuous derrieres. They sell “authenticity” as well, turning “booty love” into a sign of ethnic masculinity. “Urban men, we like butts, we like hips. It’s a black and Hispanic thing,” says Antoine Clark, publisher of Sweets. Big booty isn’t just profitable these days for magazine publishers, ad execs, retailers, and rap artists. Some women’s careers now ride, literally, on their butts. African American model Buffie the Body owes her fame and fortune to her huge butt. As a highly paid model in men’s magazines, Buffie has found her calling in life by embodying the fantasies of butt lovers everywhere. “People normally see the light-skinned, small girls…in magazines, and maybe they were just tired of that and wanted to see something different, something real,” she told Ben Westhoff in an interview. “Even white guys are coming out of the closet, admitting their fetish for big butts! They were just always shy about it, sort of scared, before I hit it big. But now there are people from Switzerland, the U.K., Ireland, and Canada who order calendars from me.” Buffie concludes that if it weren’t for her big butt she “wouldn't have made all this money.”

Body Politics of Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton

Perhaps, as Erin Aubry Kaplan wrote recently in Salon magazine, “Lord knows, it’s time the butt got some respect.” Noting that a protruding butt has been “both vilified and fetishized as the most singular of all black female features, more unsettling than dark skin and full lips,” Kaplan goes on to celebrate the emergence of Michelle Obama’s “solid, round, black, class-A boo-ta” on the nation’s political stage. With the election of Barack Obama, Kaplan argues, America finally has a First Lady with an unabashedly bounteous behind: “As America fretted about Obama's exoticism and he sought to calm the waters with speeches about unity and common experience…. Here was one clear signifier of blackness that couldn't be tamed, muted or otherwise made invisible.” Kaplan rightly reminds us that, “Black women are not the only ones with protruding behinds…. How many gluteally endowed nonblack women have been derided for having a black ass? Well, Hillary, for one.”

It may well be that America’s butt fling signals a growing acceptance of difference—a desire to broaden the repertoire of acceptable body types and beauty myths. If this celebration of fulsome booty helps women move beyond the self-hatred and anxiety attached to body fat or encourages ethnic pride in women whose bodies have historically been pathologized and denigrated—then power to the butt, indeed. But then again, in a consumer society, fashion trends are short-lived and the demand for novelty fuels profit. Will the buttocks be relegated to the margins of culture once more, disavowed and disowned by a fickle mainstream culture? Either way, I’ll still be dreaming of a time when (to loosely paraphrase Martin Luther King), women will be judged by the content of their character and not the size of their butts. Now that would be truly bootyful.

http://nsrc.sfsu.edu/

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Abstinence-only sex education has been a detriment to our nation's sexual health that we seemed to be leaving behind. The Obama administration's decision last year to cut funding for abstinence-only programs in favor of scientifically reliable programs marked a new opportunity to provide young people with the tools that they needed. As an organization that promotes sexual learning throughout the lifespan, the NSRC was excited by the prospect of national sex education that could provide our nation's youth with tools for a sexually healthy present and future.

That's why we were alarmed by a recent Washington Post article by Rob Stein about a study of an abstinence only program that was more effective than comprehensive sex education. The study showed that the abstinence-only program had slightly higher levels of students postponing sex during the research period, but the article framed the results as a major turning point for abstinence-only sex education, one that could potentially alter the future landscape of sex education by continuing abstinence-only sex education.

However, the reality of the study in question is that it does not support most abstinence-only sex education, and particularly does not show that the abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education that was promoted by the Bush administration is effective. The article acknowledges, albeit after allowing conservative voices to have their say, that various critics have noted that the program under review "did not take a moralistic tone, as many abstinence programs do. Most notably, the sessions encouraged children to delay sex until they are ready, not necessarily until married; did not portray sex outside marriage as never appropriate; and did not disparage condoms". James Wagoner of Advocates for Youth outlines how, for these reasons and others, this program does not represent most abstinence-only programs and would not have met Bush-era requirements for federal funding. While conservative organizations might still be trying to portray this research as validating abstinence-only sex education, Robin Marty at RH Reality Check points out that the program in this study, by teaching young people both to wait for sex until they are ready and by providing them safe-sex information for when they are, is more in line with comprehensive sex education programs and the research that has shown their effectiveness.

In addition to downplaying the aspects of the study that might undermine its support for abstinence-only programs, the article almost entirely neglected the abundance of research that puts the validity of abstinence-only sex education into question. A 2008 issue of our journal Sexuality Research and Social Policy highlighted a number of the areas in which abstinence-only sex education has failed, from an inability to delay teen sex in most cases, to creating a public health risk through false information about condoms, and generally denying the human rights of teens through denying their access to health information. Evidence against abstinence-only sex education is so extensive that in late 2007 a group of leading sexuality researchers sent a letter to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi urging Congress to end funding for these ineffective programs.

As an organization that supports sexual health through life-long learning, we can only voice our disappointment and dismay at this article. While delaying sexuality until one is ready is a healthy decision, attempting to deny youth their sexuality through lying and misinformation only causes greater problems. As James Wagoner points out in his post, abstinence-only programs do not delay teen sexuality forever, but merely postpones the intiation of youth sexuality into the late teens. If 70% percent of youth are still sexually active by the time they are 19, what can we expect to happen to them when they've been denied access to accurate sexual health information? Is slightly delaying the onset of youth sexuality a better outcome than providing youth with accurate health information to protect themselves and their peers? This question is even more pressing when the vast majority of research shows that abstinence-only sex education programs don't even delay teen sexuality as well as programs that provide youth with accurate health information.

Here at NSRC, we support the continued efforts to provide people of all ages with the information they need to live a sexually healthy and happy life. While the current political climate is one in which deception and misinformation have become standard tools of the trade, it's our stance that through providing people with real knowledge, we can make a positive impact on their lives and ours.

Jack Mohr is the communications intern at the National Sexuality Resource Center. He is also a student in the Sexuality Studies MA program at San Francisco State University. For his graduate project, he organized The Bisexual Art Project, an art show that explored the different ways individuals understand and engage with their bisexuality.

Source: http://nsrc.sfsu.edu/article/abstinence_only

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As a parent, you want Amber Madison to explain sexting to you. Not the definition — you're clear as a bell on that. You want her to explain why. Why kids do it and what you can do to stop it and what, by the way, has the world come to?

Madison, 26, is a Tufts University-educated sex expert. She wrote a book called "Hooking Up: A Girl's All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality" (Prometheus), and she tours the U.S. talking to teens about sex. Now she's out to educate parents with her new book, "Talking Sex With your Kids" (Adams Media).

One out of every three students has had sex by freshman year of high school, according to a 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey. By senior year, that rises to two out of three. Kids are having sex. Madison isn't trying to change that — or help parents change it. She's out to make kids better at it — better at knowing when they're ready, better at protecting themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies, better at choosing worthy partners and, of course, better at talking about it.

We chatted with Madison recently about a few of the book's key passages.

The decision to have sex should not be presented as synonymous with the feeling of being in love or the label of having a boyfriend or girlfriend.

"Too often parents go to these concrete labels of when sex is OK, but the labels are debatable," Madison says. "A 13-year-old might think she's in love. But you don't want your 13-year-old daughter thinking ‘I'm in love, so sex is OK.'

When is sex OK? When you feel emotionally ready, when you feel ready to handle any possible consequences, when you feel supported and know the other person will be there for you during any consequences, when you don't feel pressured into it, when you're really doing it for you. A teenager can take that information and make decisions based on those criteria instead of some arbitrary labels of boyfriend, girlfriend, love."

Of all the things that girls are told about sex, very few are told that they're supposed to like it.

"Teaching girls to enjoy sex will help them feel empowered to make safer choices. Girls are told so much, ‘You'll feel used. You'll totally regret it,' so when they're entering into a situation where they don't feel completely comfortable, they figure, ‘Well, that's what sex is like. It's not a problem with this guy or this relationship.' Sex should be amazing. It should feel really good and be something you really want to do. So if you're in a situation where it doesn't feel like something you really want to do or you're not quite ready, you listen to that. Sex should never feel bad."

Young men aren't dogs sitting under the table waiting for whatever scraps get thrown in their general direction.

"So many parents hear ‘Talk to your kids about sex,' and that gets flipped around to ‘Talk to your daughters about sex,' but young men need to hear just as much and no one is talking to them. No one is telling guys sex is a big deal and it should be a big deal. They shouldn't feel automatically ready. All the things we tell young women about being ready to have sex need to be told to young men too."

Beneath (it all) is a confused, vulnerable kid. A kid who still thinks sex is a big deal.

"Parents see the way kids are talking at bar mitzvahs, the tight yoga pants, sexting and they take it to mean, ‘Oh my god, kids are having sex.' Teens act sexual because that's what they see on TV. That's how adults act. It gets them attention.

Don't assume kids are out looking for sex just because they talk or act in a sexual manner. Teens are always very quick to joke about sex, but that doesn't mean they really feel OK about it."

hstevens@tribune.com
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Risk-taking peaks in adolescence, according to scientists at UCL (University College London).

In research published in the journal Cognitive Development, children, adolescents and adults aged 9-35 years chose between risky and safe options in a computer gambling game. Scientists found that the teenagers took the most risks compared with the other groups, with the most risky behaviour seen in 14-year olds.

The results suggest that teenagers are good at weighing up the pros and cons of their decisions (unlike children) but take risks because they enjoy the thrill of a risky situation more than other age groups - especially when they have a 'lucky escape'.

"The reason that teenagers take risks is not a problem with foreseeing the consequences. It was more because they chose to take those risks," said Dr Stephanie Burnett from the UCL Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, and the lead author.

"This is the first evidence from a lab-based study that adolescents are risk-takers. We are one step forward in determining why teenagers engage in extremely risky behaviours such as drug use and unsafe sex," she added.

The study involved 86 boys and men who were asked to play computer games, during which they made decisions in order to win points. After each game scientists measured the participants' emotional response by recording how satisfied or dissatisfied they were with the outcome.

They found that the onset of the teenage years marked an increase in how much enjoyment resulted from winning in a 'lucky escape' situation. This could help explain why teenagers are more likely to take bigger risks.

"The onset of adolescence marks an explosion in 'risky' activities - from dangerous driving, unsafe sex and experimentation with alcohol, to poor dietary habits and physical inactivity. This contributes to the so-called 'health paradox' of adolescence, whereby a peak in lifetime physical health is paradoxically accompanied by high mortality and morbidity.

"Understanding why adolescents take such risks is important for public health interventions and for families," said Dr Sarah-Jayne Blakemore, also from the UCL Institute for Cognitive Neuroscience, and co-author of the research.

The research was funded by the Wellcome Trust and the Royal Society.

Article: 'Adolescents' heightened risk-seeking in a probabilistic gambling task' published online in the journal Cognitive Development 25 March 2010.

Source:
Clare Ryan
University College London
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